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  1. 1 point
    Given that my posts today are often about mental health, I'd like to add another. A label that released a "Grid Resistor" album (Grid Resistor being my musical act in which I use only machine sounds) wrote something like-- it provided a window to an "obsessive and sterile world". With schizophrenia came a fear of intimacy, I am afraid, of any kind. My music evolved into an often seamless expression of coldness-- solitary, isolationist, and not at all intimate. For better or worse, humans need contact, and it's taken years of a kind of deprogramming to combat this sense that it is wrong to touch people or be touched. I know this is a trait that is not uncommon in our society, and I feel bad for the many who suffer from it. I am learning that I can't ultimately put nature off-- nature is powerful, and should be respected.
  2. 1 point
    Is there a connection between my schizophrenia and my music? There are many connections. When I was struggling with my illness, and living in isolation, I stayed in a shabby, low-rent apartment in the South Side of Saint Louis. A frequent thing was to record the sounds of that place, including the constantly leaking pipes. For some reason, I waited months to report the leaks, choosing instead to record the sounds and use them in music. There were quite a few pieces that emerged from these pipes recordings. One, "Altercus" (Webbed Hand Records), combined heavily processed versions of the sounds (the tones you can hear) with slightly reverberated versions of the actual sounds. "Altercus", incidentally, was a plant that was deemed to have hallucinatory qualities, that was known back in the days of the Roman Empire, but has been lost to history. Can you hear the sounds of an isolated schizophrenic, living day to day in his gritty apartment?